A Plea for Help

I've recently finished another edit of my manuscript draft. I won't call it a book yet, because it's still raw and unpolished, even though this past revision was my third? Fourth? I can't remember anymore.

Devastatingly, I'm setting it aside... to breathe... to allow it to breathe... and so I can forget everything about it and come back at it with fresh eyes in a few weeks.

I've spoken with a few of my readers about glancing through my manuscript with your red pens.

I've decided that even though it is terrifying to have people read this, I need to have feedback.

What I'm looking for is a handful of readers friends who will pour over the first half of my manuscript. I'm only showing the first half because why waste our time? If the first half sucks, the second half will also suck, and there will be no point to your reading it or any point to my finishing it.

I'm hoping to find people willing to read this in around a week. It seems silly to put restrictions on a favor, but if it's a chore to read these eight chapters in a week, then it's time to scrap this project. This way, also, it stays fresh and fragrant in your minds.

So, any takers? Anyone with a week to kill with a red pen? Anyone out there who hates me and wants to tear down my wall of self-esteem with their hurtful criticism? Now's the time!

Me, Opener of Doors and Ignorer of Breezes

I am, by nature and nurture, a productive person. Productive in a very specific way--I am a constant creator. When I am blessed with a few hours away from Finley, I get to work on a song, a sketch, or a story. Very rarely do I simply sit and surf the web, or take a nap. I like to work creatively.

Ha, I honestly try to pass off "creative work" as "actual, helpful, efficient work" when it really isn't, most of the time. It's just an exhausting, soul-searching hobby until it earns you a living.

My problem is not ever motivation to begin, or to work towards a middle. My problem lies in the ending. This is partly because I get attached to my work and hate the idea of seeing it finalized, out of my head and tangible at last.

It's also partly because it's so much more fun to make a mess than it is to clean one up.

I have good news, though.
But first, let's walk through the cemetery of deceased works.

In 2009 I finally sat down and wrote a book: The Garden. I wrote it in less than a month. I was manic, heavily drugged, and the book shows it. It is truly terrible. Excerpts of it were reviewed by Sue Grafton (who hated it) and Sue Monk Kidd (who so-soed it). You can read those reviews here. They are far kinder than I would have been.
Word count: 60,000 (okay, so technically a novella)
Finished? Yes.
Edited? Never.
Abandoned? Absolutely. Dead and buried.

Then I popped out a baby and took a hiatus from writing fiction, and when I returned to my old craft, this is what came out. This is Fishing With Eden, which doesn't make me cringe as much as The Garden does, but was ultimately going nowhere. It was lost to my laptop, and recovered several months later, but unfortunately I care nothing for the characters anymore.
Word count: 32,000
Finished? Nope.
Edited? Nah, more like dissected and sold for parts.
Abandoned? Yes yes. RIP Fishing for Eden

The end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011, I was working on this beauty, The Suiciders. I rarely think in terms of high-paced action-based stories--unfortunately, when I daydream up fiction, it involves characters speaking in metaphors while sipping lattes in a horrible cliche. This was something different, very fast and violent.
I was away from my laptop for two weeks. I lost my fire. I was done. That's a pathetic reason, but the truth.
Word count: around 38,000
Finished? No, it's missing the final third.
Edited? No.
Abandoned? No. I still feel some life in this one. It's a story I can't get out of my head at night.

Ah, The Art Scientist. Hmmm, can't comment on much, except to say that I love working on it.
Word count: So far, around 60,000, but it is worked on nightly
Finished? Not yet
Edited? Not yet
Abandoned? Not yet

Here's the good news.
I just finished a young adult novel, the first in a trilogy. I sat down to write the book I wish the library had when I was sixteen. I am proud. I am tired. I have given it a rough edit. I am sending off a query letter, or two, or two hundred. I wish I was kidding about that.
I am not sick of it yet, surprisingly. I feel like my practice on those first desperate attempts at novels prepared me to write and finish this.

Word count: 98, 200
Finished? Yes
Edited? Working on that...
Abandoned? Never!

How could I not write a fantasy novel? One that incorporates Ireland, swimming, the ocean, secrets, tokens, pirates, leviathans, cursed jewelry, and strong, mysterious women? The book spilled out of me. Book two is drafted, book three is drafted. I'm just waiting for a weekend in a cabin and a bottle full of Adderall to write them. Gotcha! I don't use Adderall. Just turn on Glee and tell me I can either watch that or write my book.

I am a writing machine. But honestly, I'm just proud of myself for finishing it.

But before you get all jealous and hateful of my bout of productivity (4.0 GPA, finished novel, darling child who hasn't been rushed to the ER yet), just know that I also am still chubby and just got a new zit on my chin. So you can go ahead and give me Internet props, knowing I am powerful but still human.

Options for Fiction Reading, Part Three of Four

Ramona the Pest by Beverly Cleary

"Why don't you turn on the dawnzer? It gives a lee light."

Beverly Cleary has an ageless appeal. I look back on this fondly as the first chapter book I read, and before I could read it myself, I listened to it on tape until the ribbon wore out. Just last summer, I broke it out and flipped through the pages, excited for the day when Finley will press repeat on her tape player iPod, listening to Ramona play Grey Duck over and over again. The best thing about Ms. Cleary, in all of her books, is her ability to sneak in very realistic humor about children, how their worlds work, and how they view adults. What I appreciate now as an adult about these books, however, is that her characters are always spunky but never sassy, unlike all modern replicas of Ramona (I'm looking at you, Clementine).

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

"Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God."

Okay, so I have maybe mentioned this book on this blog a few times, but it's another one that just--ugh, I can't describe it in any new way. It's been reviewed a million times, and each person seems to stutter like I do, trying to find the words to do it justice. I didn't read my first Vonnegut until a few months after I graduated from high school, and even though this isn't specifically written as a young adult novel, I often wonder what effect it would have had on me if I had read it earlier. The story begins with John, the narrator, who decides to write a book on where important Americans were the day the first atomic bomb was dropped. He first interviews a fictional physicist, Felix Hoenikker, and John realizes that the scientist may have left behind a substance that could threaten life on earth.

The most fantastic thing about this book is how cyclical it is. Every chapter you read, you leave behind a certain setting for another one. Nothing is mentioned that is not brought in again for some sort of metaphor. In this book, Vonnegut (a well-known atheist) centers around the juxtaposition of religion and science, and points out the flaws in each of them through this story. So good. MUST be read.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

"I am sufficiently proud of my knowing something to be modest about my not knowing all."

I adore Russian literature. Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Pushkin, Gogol, Chekhov, Bulgakov--I love them. Nabokov does something to me in particular, and there is a reason why Lolita, despite its slightly discomforting subject matter, is the greatest of his works. We're all familiar with the story: the self-deprecating but incredibly insightful narrator Humbert Humbert recounts with deep shame but brutal honesty how he fell in love with twelve year-old Dolores, whom he calls Lolita. The most brilliant insertion Nabakov brought into this seemingly disgusting novel was endowing Humbert, a known pedophile, with wit, charm, and a bewitchingly sophisticated prose style. Beautiful book. Just stunning. 

White Oleander by Janet Fitch

"Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to."

I have to be honest: I glanced at this book on the library shelf for two years and ran screaming in the other direction because it had the sticker with the dreaded words on it: "Oprah's Book Club." Then when I finally read the first paragraph, three days later I realized I had finished it. Again, this is not a book for the faint of heart. It deals with murder, cruel foster homes, child/adult sexual relations, drug use, and, most intriguingly, a manipulative mother who insists her daughter grow up knowing poetry rather than basic arithmetic. This is a dark book, but the author weaves in lightness through her fresh metaphors. It's literary fiction of the highest kind. 

Astrid Magnussen is a young teenager, living with her mother Ingrid, who is an artist and poet who fights fiercely. When Ingrid's boyfriend leaves her, she exacts her revenge by poisoning him with oleander flowers. She is arrested, sent to prison, and we follow Astrid on her journey from foster home to foster home, with her mother's controlling letters serving as mileposts through the story. I re-read this every summer when the wind gets warm.

The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling

"There is no harm in a man's cub."

No child should grow up without reading the stories of the jungle, because every child imagines what it would be like to be raised by a pack of wolves, defeating deadly tigers, wrestling with snakes beneath the canopy of the trees, growling in the river with a bear. If Finley had been a boy, her middle name would probably have been Kipling. We all know the story: Mowgli is a man-cub who grows up away from humans under the watch of his Brothers of the Pack. Kipling pours on childhood fantasies in this book. Read it. Find an illustrated version. I think if the world was ending, this is the book I'd want tucked underneath my arm.

The final part coming soon!

Options for Fiction Reading, Part Two of Four

Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger

"You can't live in the world with such strong likes and dislikes."

I read The Catcher in the Rye in ninth grade, just like every other American, and like every other teenager, Salinger's writing resonated with me. Years later, Holden Caulfield drives me nuts. Franny and Zooey has the same swear-word-laden, tic-y writing as any standard Salinger. But it has something The Catcher in the Rye never had--heart. Zooey and Franny Glass are a brother and a sister raised in an unusual family, groomed to be child geniuses. Franny is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and begins chanting the Jesus Prayer at all times, hoping it will become like a subconscious zen message, constantly buzzing in her mind. 

  American Gods by Neil Gaiman

"What I say is, a town isn't a town without a bookstore. It may call itself a town, but unless it's got a bookstore, it knows it's not fooling a soul."

What can I say about this book that other reviewers haven't already said? Settlers came across the sea to America, bringing their respectful gods with them, and the gods were abandoned here for the new religion, Christianity. This book follows a man fresh out of prison who is caught between two warring gods, one ancient god and one from the twentieth century. This is ultimately a story about stories, weaving myths, folktales, and legends together into a modern plot. Neil Gaiman is a god of fiction himself. Anyone who loves mythology will gobble this book up.

Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella

"The trouble with giving yourself a pep talk is deep down, you know its all bullshit."

Every good meal deserves a delectable, rich dessert, and it doesn't get more delicious than Sophie Kinsella, best known for the Confessions of a Shopaholic series. I actually love the chic-lit genre. Most of the books in this genre are surprisingly witty, but none of them compete with Ms. Kinsella. This is a story about Lexi, who wakes up in a hospital bed with unrecognizable glamorous looks, a husband she didn't realize she had, and an entire life different than the boring one she remembers. She hit her head in a car accident and recovers from her amnesia for the rest of the book. I won't give away the twist, of course, but it's fine--this is a fast read, but so enjoyable.

A Girl Named Disaster by Nancy Farmer

"The other girls in the village never felt restless. Nhamo was like a pot of boiling water. 'I want, I want...,' she whispered to herself, but she didn't know what she wanted and she had no idea how to find it."

Fourteen year-old Nhamo is an orphan living in a traditional Shona African village in Mozambique. Nhamo is overworked by her cruel aunt, and the village consults a witch doctor when Nhamo reveals she was visited by leopard spirits--this is considered bad luck because her mother was dragged away by a leopard when Nhamo was an infant. The village decides to send her as a present (a slave) to her deadbeat dad's brother, where she will inevitably be beaten by his older, jealous wives. Her grandmother helps her escape the night before her relocation, and she floats in a canoe up the river to Zimbabwe. It is a tale of survival, with beautifully written description about the African landscape. 

Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens

"Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it cannot be the pride of a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues--faith and hope."

Charles Dickens is so cliche that I almost hate admitting that he is as good as everyone says he is. True, I find his actual writing kind of wearying to read--but it demands you curling up in front of a fire with an ottoman and a blanket, while the snow flies outside. Except for A Tale of Two Cities, which I CANNOT stand. I usually stay away from books written about this time period. I do not do Jane Austen. NO. 

But this book is delightfully everything a Dickens should be: pitiful characters like Smike, cartoonish villains like Squeers, perfectly evil businessmen like Ralph Nickleby, respectable mothers like Mrs. Nickleby, a virtuous, lovesick maiden like Madeline Bray, and a prideful, arrogant, and still likable protagonist like Nicholas. My favorite Dickens by far.

Part three to come soon!

Options for Fiction Reading, Part One of Four

Better late than never.

I'd like to point out some fantastic options for fiction reading that I have come across over the years. I'm avoiding my obvious favorites (The Fountainhead, Danny, Champion of the World, Martian Chronicles--all of these will be omitted here because of DUH). I'm avoiding the ones that have influenced me the most as a writer, a person, a woman, etc.

These are simply amazing books that I highly recommend picking up.

Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee

"His mind has become a refuge for old thoughts, idle, indigent, with nowhere else to go. He ought to chase them out, sweep the premises clean. But he does not care to do so, or does not care enough..."

This book sneaked up on me. Surprised me with its thoughtfulness. I haphazardly fished it out of a lonely-looking bookshelf at the library two years ago because it had a large gold medallion on it, professing a Nobel Prize for Literature. Fair enough, I thought, and broke it open. I always enjoy a book where the main character isn't particularly likable--it shows the author's dedication to honesty. Professor David Lurie is a professor in South Africa who is dismissed after a passionless affair with a student. He journeys to his daughter's farm to take refuge there, and learns difficult life lessons about death, welfare, compassion, violation, and humility. The author also tied the entire story up with a parallel to opera and song-composing that had me in tears.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

"I turned around and walked to my room and closed the door and put my head under my pillow and let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be..."

This book is written as a series of letters from Charlie, a odd and quiet teenage boy who befriends Sam and Patrick, a set of senior siblings who introduce Charlie to the world of open-minded, eclectic hard-partying. It is written in a refreshing, easy-to-read manner--borderline stream-of-consciousness. This book is full of quotes that people have tattooed all over their bodies, and there's a reason for it: the author managed to somehow capture that 90s teenage angst in a truthful manner without being overly obnoxious about it. There are some wonderfully written sentences in this book.

Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech

"A person isn't a bird. You can't cage a person."

Ah, this book. I read it as a sixth-grader (like its target audience) and have re-read it every year since. Sal is thirteen years old, traveling with her grandparents to find her mother, who disappeared a year earlier. During the long, anxiety-ridden road trip, Sal tells a story to pass the time about her old friend Phoebe. This book is a simple read, but full of wisdom. The grown-up in you will ache to read some of the sad passages. The child in you will marvel at the beauty of the Native American culture displayed in this story. And all of you will be floored by the ending.

Midwives: A Novel by Chris Bohjalian
You may look at the title of this novel and think, "Hmm, sounds boring." But honestly that couldn't be further from the truth. This book is splayed out as a courtroom drama as gripping as Twelve Angry Men. The story is about Sibyl Danforth, a hippie-like midwife who performs an emergency C-section on a dead mother to save her baby... and is then charged with murder, because the state isn't certain that the woman was dead when Sibyl cut her open with a kitchen knife. Told from the point of view of Sibyl's teenage daughter, this book is one you CANNOT put down. And if you do choose to read it, please, do not read the last chapter a la When Harry Met Sally! A twist awaits you that will ruin the entire book. I wish I could go back and re-read this for the first time.

Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
"What greater gift could you offer your children than an inherent ability to earn a living just by being themselves?"
Okay, I know I've raved about this on here before. Or in person to you. Believe me, I'd rent an airplane to skywrite this message: read this damn book. But it deserves a warning label: not for the faint of heart. Just listen to this synopsis, okay? This is the story of the Binewskis, a circus family circa 1900 who breed their own freaks. That's right, the mother would use radiation, pills, alcohol, and other insane methods to insure her children would have birth defects and earn their spot in their traveling freak show. Too much? Then don't even skim a page of this. But know that you are missing out on a hell of a book, a daring story with compelling characters, told by an author who manages to take such a dark, twisted concept and bring lightness to it. Every reviewer who has read this says the same thing, and I will say it again: I can't even describe this book. Just read it.

Stay tuned for part two!

Options for Non-Fiction Reading, Part Four of Four

Here is my sum-up of great non-fiction reads!

Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen

"Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a deep secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever."

Here's an instance where the movie is absolutely better than the book. The movie had heart. The book is a little bit cold. Susanna Kaysen is too honest about identifying the insanity we all share. But as a quintessential looney bin cautionary tale, it's simply the bravest. 

Walden by Henry David Thoreau

 "I would sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion."

In high school, I had a thing for Thoreau, Emerson, and Shelley. I wanted to make a Transcendentalists sandwich out of the four of us, where we'd hole up in a cabin and talk art, nature, economics, literature... And have sex. Walden was Thoreau's experiment in living well, where he famously lived alone on Walden Lake with only a few visitors. His insights on things are oft-quoted, and for a reason. It's not a swift read--Thoreau was a talented writer who used long phrases and odd metaphors. But, as Robert Frost said, "in one book, he surpasses everything we have had in America."

Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Rarely will you find a woman as elegant, intelligent, and beautiful as Ms. Ali, and her personal story is heartbreaking and inspiring. Infidel is the memoir of her life, of how she fled her oppressive Muslim family in Africa and gained political asylum in the Netherlands. She was elected to Parliament, worked with Theo Van Gogh on his short film Submission, and is one of the harshest critics of Islam and the Qur'an. She is a modern Joan of Arc, a proponent of women's rights, but still manages to be graceful, never too edgy.

The Selfish Gene, The God Delusion, and The Greatest Show On Earth by Richard Dawkins

How often can I refer to this man on my blog? He did for my own set of beliefs what Confucius did for the Chinese: changed it. He is a strong advocate for Charles Darwin--an evolutionist, humanist, and atheist. He was a professor for Public Understanding of Science at Oxford University for years, and is never raucous about his ideas. He is, after all, a proper British gentleman. If you are a faithful member of a religion, I would consider reading this--not to convince you of anything else, but to know what the arguments are. If you are wavering on what to think about God, the universe, or religion, I would consider reading this--not to push you onto either side of the fence, but to make you think. And if you are a fellow staunch atheist, you'll just be thrilled to have someone so well-spoken on your side.

Running With Scissors, Magical Thinking, and Positive Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs

Not for the conservative reader, okay? Not for anyone who opposes homosexual relations, crass topics, foul language, or glamorizing materialistic desires. But you are missing out on one of the funniest people to roam New York City. Running With Scissors is, of course, his famous memoir based on his childhood, where his psychotic mother began seeing a strange psychiatrist for help with her poetry writing. Augusten spent countless hours with the doctor's weird family, and eventually his mother let the doctor adopt him. Magical Thinking and Positive Side Effects are collections of essays written about funny incidents in his life. My favorite? The tale of his experience with a housekeeper. 

There's plenty more non-fiction where those came from. What are your favorites? 

And would you like to meet me back here tomorrow for selections from my fiction shelf? Okay, it's a date!

Options for Non-Fiction Reading, Part Three of Four

Presenting more brilliant non-fiction for your pleasure!

The Virtue of Selfishness by Ayn Rand

"The man who does not value himself cannot value anything or anyone."

This is a collection of essays by Ms. Rand regarding her notion of egoism, and before the title completely scares you away, let's walk through it. When you get into an airplane crash, you are supposed to cover your own mouth with oxygen before anyone else's--why wouldn't that concept translate into everyday life? If you are new to Ayn Rand, I'd start with Anthem. Then tackle The Fountainhead (otherwise known as my favorite book of all time). Try out Atlas Shrugged next, and then finish with this, which will blow your mind.

Writing Down the Bones, Thunder and Lightning, and Old Friend From Far Away by Natalie Goldberg

"Talk when you talk, walk when you walk, and die when you die."

Come on, how do I even talk about what this woman has done for my writing craft in one small paragraph? She really deserves an entire post all to her own. Ms. Goldberg takes principles she's learned from studying Zen and applies them to writing. My favorite thing I learned from her? When I have writer's block, I simply write what I would be writing if I didn't have writer's block. So Zen. So simple. The best part about her books is they take a long time to finish. That's not because they're complex, but because you crack open the first chapter and she's already inspired you to write for an hour. If you love to write, I highly suggest buying these three books and incorporating her ideas into your routine.

The Female Brain and The Male Brain by Dr. Louann Brizendine

These two books are part of what inspired me to pursue biology in school. Anyone who has ever known a man or a woman should read these. Dr. Brizendine takes a fascinating approach to studying the biology of gender, mapping each hormone that affects men and women individually. The fact is there are certain tendencies that are inescapable--they are driven by physical things in your body. Reading these two books made me feel better about surrendering to those tendencies, and also clued me into what my brain was suggesting I do. 

Wild Swans and Mao: The Unknown Story by Jung Chang

First of all, my sincerest apologies to everyone who I have bought this for, forced a loan to, and otherwise coerced into reading and/or talking about these books. But I HAD to. Wild Swans is a comprehensive biography of Chang's mother and grandmother, and the tale of her own life, as lived in communist China under the reign of Mao. Her perspective on this area of the world and the pros and advantages and disadvantages of communism are spellbinding. Mao: The Unknown Story plunges into the life of the General, telling of his rise to power and the horrors he committed. These are not light beach reads! They are books you must concentrate on, but well worth it. 

Catch Me If You Can by Frank W. Abagnale

The film version of Mr. Abagnale's life story is one of those perfect films, where there truly isn't a dull moment, and re-watching it is as exhilarating as the first time. The book is, if you can believe it, BETTER. There are details about his specific cons, tales of his life that were not included in the film (like the eight months he spent posing as a BYU professor--yep!). His voice is always smart, but he leaves the reader with his pangs of regret for his actions. To further make me like him, he credits his dear wife with saving his life and changing his ways.

Final part tomorrow!

Options for Non-Fiction Reading, Part Two of Four

More ideas for non-fiction reads, people.

When Men Become Gods by Stephen Singular

I never followed/was aware of the Warren Jeffs arrest or trials when they were happening. I randomly scanned through this book at the Lehi Library and wound up bringing it home with me. A day and a half later, I hadn't left the couch and was equally stunned with anger, tears, and curiosity about this whole situation. Obviously, being raised in an LDS family I am familiar with polygamy, Fundamentalists--but you have no idea the scope of the brainwashing that happens in this cult. This reads like a newspaper piece, reporting on the entire case--but in much more chilling detail. 

Prozac Nation and Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women by Elizabeth Wurtzel

I'm the first to point out that Ms. Wurtzel's narrative voice is whiny and at times unlikable. But her memoir of classic clinical depression and her subsequent Prozac prescription that saved her life is brutal, to the point--exactly how a memoir should be. Her other book, Bitch, tears apart the notion that a strong, independent, feisty woman should be labeled a bitch. As a fully functioning bitch, I appreciate this.

Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser

I watched Super-Size Me before reading this book, so the shocks and horrors of the actual food content and potential hazards of ingesting fast food on a regular basis were no surprises to me. But this book focuses more on the other issues I have with fast food restaurants: the ridiculous and imposing advertising schemes to prey on your children and make them life-long customers; the atrocious treatment of employees and managers; the disgusting lack of responsibility regarding the management of slaughterhouse insurance issues; and any other evil practice sanctioned by the fast food industry. THIS BOOK IS, TO ME, A MUST READ. (Sorry, I had to yell for a second.) Read it and become an informed consumer. Sure, a beef patty made of chemicals isn't going to kill you every once in a while--but supporting the heinous industry might do some serious damage.

Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich

This book is a quick read, only a hundred and fifty pages, so there's really no excuse not to try this out. Barbara Ehrenreich, using the classic undercover journalist angle, spent time living as a minimum-wage worker in America, working as a waitress, a maid, and a Wal-Mart employee. Her insights into living as a member of the working poor class reveal details that make my heart ache: full-time employees living in trailers, canned pork and beans dinners, ridiculous "personality tests" on job applications that crush any individuality, the list goes on. This book would be an especially good read right now, considering the possible class action law suit facing Wal-Mart regarding sexism and discrimination.

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

Ah, fantastic books about science! A woman writing about science! Women and science! Hoorah! The titles are pretty self-explanatory, and I'll only add a few thoughts. First, do not read either book while eating. Just don't. Second, be prepared to re-read this with a highlighter in hand, so you can spout out random facts to loved ones about what happens to their eyes during decomposition. Third, if you are a rageaholic like I am, the silliness of the funeral business will enrage you!

Part three tomorrow!

Options for Non-Fiction Reading, Part One of Four

Recently I attempted to resort my bookshelves/closet shelves/boxes of books under my bed. I planned to Dewey Decimal the hell out of my thousand or so paperbacks, display proudly the hundred or so antique hardback and coffee table books, and finally catalog each book I have.
Three hours into my sorting process, I stopped, because I decided to feed my child instead.
You know how much I love to read. You know how much I love to read fiction. But you might be surprised to learn that probably half of the books I own are non-fiction.
I LOVE a good non-fiction read. I realize, though, that the genre of non-fiction is not everyone's first choice. It can be overwhelming.
These are some of my favorites, in case you were seeking a brilliant non-fiction choice.

 

A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf

"So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters."

This is an extended essay that Ms. Woolf wrote considering women, writing, and education. I have referred to it time and time again when pondering the effort it takes to act smart, pursue literature, and be a strong woman. She also mentions a fictional "Judith Shakespeare," William Shakespeare's hypothetical sister who perhaps was just as talented as the Bard, but was discouraged from learning to read so as to complete household chores and make babies. 

The Friendly Shakespeare by Norrie Epstein

A certain ninth-grade drama teacher of mine that possibly had a large influence on me used to carry this book around with her. I remember it sitting dog-eared in her office, with neon colored Post-its marking her favorite pages. We giggled at the translated Elizabethan sexual slang and marveled at the amount of reading we would have to do to be considered Shakespeare experts. The summer before high school, I saved every penny I had and bought a used copy of this from eBay. I read it cover to cover, then read every Shakespeare play except for Cymbeline and Timon of Athens. I have no intention to read either one, by the way. 

The Know-It-All and The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs

"It is easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than it is to think your way into a new way of acting."

A.J. Jacobs: the king of the stunt books, great experimenter, fantastic journalist, and clever Jew. His books: one lifestyle after another, always an entertaining read. In The Know-It-All, A.J. attempts to read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica in one year--every volume. His tale is not of the knowledge he learned, but of his own growth during the project, as well as everyone else's reactions to his constant know-it-all-ness. The Year of Living Biblically is his year living in New York City with his wife, attempting to live according to EACH commandment in the Old and New Testament for a year. Hilarity ensues in a light-mannered, always refreshing read.

Wasted and Madness by Marya Hornbacher

"We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us not to need."

Ms. Hornbacher wrote her first memoir, Wasted, about her struggles with a deadly eating disorder in the most grotesque, stunning prose that leaves us not only with an insight into the mind of an anorexic, but with the haunting presence of her poetic talents. She did, after all, study poetry at a prestigious school for liberal arts majors. This book was written when she was only twenty-two, written just four years after she was sent to the ER, weighing fifty-two pounds, and given only a week to live. Her follow-up memoir, Madness, tells of post-eating disorder life, when she was finally given the diagnosis of bipolar disorder type one. She is not the most light-hearted read, but she is always graceful, always honest, and always beautiful.

Be prepared for part two, coming your way soon!

Reading Between the Lines

When I glance through my bookshelf, titles stick out to me--not only because they were amazing reads, but because I have such vivid memories of where I was and what I was doing when I was reading it. Of course, every good reader gleans a lesson from a book--I take it a step further and take lessons from the act of reading that book itself. Confusing? I'll explain.

Book read: The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
Book's lesson: Love will come to you from where you least expect it.
Lesson I rendered: Children in your sixth grade class will look at you weird if you act out this story with a special Star Trek twist for your book report.
I was put into a group to read this, and when we finally finished and had to come up with a presentation for our class, my group sat there listlessly, staring off into space. (One kid, as I remember, was crushing up his Smarties and snorting them.) I sighed, volunteered to put together the project myself that night, and we met the next morning... where I pinned communicators on all their shirts, declared that we were going to act it out like it was an episode of Star Trek, and handed them their scripts.
Every time I re-read this book I think of me in my mustard yellow T-shirt, a bejeweled headband pulled down over my eyes (I was Jordy, get it?), speaking and walking like the blind old black man neighbor in the book. Shameful.

Book read: From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg
Book's lesson: Sometimes you think you need to change everything when you really just need to change one thing.
Lesson I rendered: Buy the senior heartthrob a copy of this in New York, he'll leave it on the bus--and you'll feel ridiculous.
My sophomore year of high school, my drama club all went to New York City for a week. Inside the Metropolitan Museum of Art, people slowly left for more exciting city sights--and I was left behind with Alex, a handsome, charming, talented senior from Lone Peak who starred in our production of Les Miserables because we ran out of handsome, charming, talented seniors. We talked about this book, he mentioned how he hadn't read it in years, so I found a bookstore and bought him a cheap copy.
The next day I shyly approached him on our tour bus, handing him the book as a gift. He gushed gratefully, and I felt amazing--until we unloaded into the hotel and I realized he had not only left it on the bus, but accidentally pushed it onto the floor and walked right past it. I scooped it up and made a vow not to hand it over unless he brought it up to me. He didn't. I still have it.
Humph.

Book read: Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Book's lesson: Wealth does not bring happiness.
Lesson I rendered: If you offer to read a chapter of this out loud to your sleepover buddy, explaining that you're in the middle of it and read it every night before bed, she will fake sick and call her mom to pick her up.
I had no idea there was such a thing as a Dickens-phobia, but a friend in fourth grade slept over, and I picked the things to keep us entertained. First we watched the 1970s King Kong. Then we made lists of all the sharks we could think of. Hmmm, maybe it wasn't the Dickens that scared her away after all?

Book read: Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Book's lesson: Deception in beauty will get you far, but ultimately you should follow your heart.
Lesson rendered: Don't share anything personal with your obnoxious co-worker, or else she will bash on it and leave you shoe-shamed.
After high school, I took a temporary job filling in for a data entry clerk at Covenant Communications, an LDS-materials-only publishing company who had an employee out on maternity leave. The woman who sat next to me at the front desk had been with the company since the beginning, and had a sweet, demure old lady front--but the truth was, she was a vicious judgmental troll! She had a negative comment about everything, from my Cafe Rio salad ("Uh, gross! Bajio's is so much better!") to my choice in music ("the Lord only wants us to listen to inspired music, so here's more Billy Gilman for your listening pleasures!") to my shoes ("Those are interesting sneakers..."). They were just high-tops!
She saw me reading this book and commented that she read it and hated it. Right as she said that, another woman zooming past our office stopped and said, "Lacey, what do you like?"
Props to her, years later, because forever this book will be tainted with her disgusted look over the cubicle stall--"You're reading that? Ugh!"

Book read: The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath by... Sylvia Plath
Book's lesson: Even the strong shall fall.
Lesson rendered: Depression can be contagious.
After reading this book for a day, I sunk into my couch and decided she was right about so many things. She articulated that which I didn't dare to say out loud--as if she had stolen the thoughts right from my mind. I read for a few more days, then solemnly put the book away until I was in a happier place in my life. When Finley turned about six months old, I knew life couldn't possibly be better, so I finished it and decided that no matter how much depression hurts and how embarrassed I may be, I will not forgo asking for help. Not if it saves my life.

I love thinking, "Where was I when I read that?" And undoubtedly there are many other anecdotes that pop up with mention of other books--amazing how the brain can connect the dots like this.

Reading

 

The Red Queen by Matt Ridley

Disclaimer: For any of you (that includes you, Wendy Wright!) who are offended by the idea of all humans sharing a common family tree that stems from a pre-ape ancestor, stay away. This book will either offend you or confound you as you try to insert your personal theories of science.

In this book, Ridley answers brilliant questions that even I never thought to ask:

Why do humans have sex at all?

Why not just clone-like reproduction?

Why such differences between men and women--both in the brain and in the bedroom?

Why are there two genders, not three or a dozen?

In the wild, under what circumstances do you find polygamy, monogamy, infanticide, polyandry, and cuckoldry? Why?

Every chapter, every page, every sentence is rewarding.

If you are looking for a thoughtful, scientific approach as to why you act the way you act--and why your parents acted the way they acted in order to produce you--this book will blow you away.

Things Distracting Me From Finishing Mockingjay

Weird, nonsensical organizing tactics, like arranging my books in rainbow order, red to purple.

The re-watching an old Apprentice episode.

Porn.

Hating statistics.

Tracing my direct heritage up through Charlemagne, only to discover that I am, just like every other white person in Utah, mostly Irish with a little bit of Scottish, English, Welsh, and polygamist prophet.

Making a cartoon flip book of Finley as a dinosaur.

Moaning in agony.

Wikipedia, I am one night away from looking up the ending to this stupid book just to be done with it.

A Post About Something Trendy

I'm currently reading Mockingjay, which for those of you who live in huts and never see society, it's the final installment of a young adult trilogy called The Hunger Games. I absolutely LOVED the first book. It has been drawing parallels to Twilight, which I can understand--the same demographic is reading it furiously, forgoing laundry to finish it late into the night. The biggest parallel I can see is although Twilight and The Hunger Games are both fantastic stories, they're not very well written as novels. I can see this book unfurling as a film, each scene, each character. I picture a younger Megan Fox as Katniss, Hunter Parrish as Peeta, and I don't care about Gale, because I think he's a weak character with zero development. But Hugh Laurie for Haymitch all the way!

The second book was all right, though not as gripping as the first book. And that leads me to the third book, which literally puts me to sleep every night. The last time I was attempting to read something this tedious was Ender's Game, and I quit after about a week of this.

I'm so sick of whiny, apologetic female characters. Sure, Katniss is strong physically--she's a hunter, an archer, and kind of badass. But what's up with her feeling undeserving of love, relationships, victory? Katniss seems to be the perfect feminist character--she's cunning, she's brave, she's rebellious, and her emotions are rolling but in check. So why is she constantly self-deprecating to the audience, explaining all her moments for self-sacrifice when she's not motivated by charity or love?

It's like reading Bella all over again--whining, moaning, "not special," undeserving. What's wrong with a physically strong character who is also resolve in her self-worth? Katniss's power isn't in rebellion, rallying the Districts together to create a revolution--that's the team around her that set her up to appear that way, through luck. Her power is negation.

Just was thinking last night as I went to bed how tiring it must be to apologize for living all the time. I'll let you know in three weeks when I finally finish Mockingjay. 

Yawn.

A Letter I've Been Meaning To Write

Dearest William,

Hello, darling. How have you been? It seems like eternity since the last time we corresponded. It was another life for me. I wore black every day, accenting with deep moss green and shamrocks, I wept openly in the shadows of the theatre when considering the tragic, unrequited love in my life, and you brought out the poetry in my life, even though it was filled with geometry, Cool Beans, sweet sangria, and pimples. It was high school.

We've slipped out of touch. You've changed, to me, you've changed. I look at you, and I no longer see an awkward, terrified adolescent know-it-all reflected back. I see a simple mother longing to rekindle that desperate, pathetic teen passion I felt reading your words when I was sixteen.

We talked about you in school last night. We watched a video about your works, your writings, and I was the only one familiar with your life and your accomplishments. Everyone else was a stranger to your genius. I felt like we were talking about an ex-boyfriend of mine, someone I had an affair with. That's what you feel like to me--an old affair.

And now that I am single, open, and ready for love, I say--if you are ready, my darling--that you come back and we finish what we started. I am ready to have you again--rose petals, chocolates, whispered sweet nothings into my ear, jealousy, sunlight on the sheets, violins, quills--I am ready for it.

Or just a quickie in a cheap motel room with dollar store wine and a toupee.

Or you could just leave your plays on my doorstep and let me handle it myself.

How I've missed your words, William.

It's good to see you again, old friend.

Reading

I've always relied heavily on instinct when deciding what to put in my body. Twinkies? Not so much. A cookie? Okay. Ibuprofen? Nah. Caffeine? Only from coffee. It's inconsistent, it's frustrating, and it's time to change. And this book gave me the final push to start working on some changes.

I'm not an expert. I'm not a scientist. I certainly am not positive about the realities of every "fact" in this book. I do know that when the author talks about the insinuation of corn in everything we eat, he is speaking truth. Every grocery item in the store has corn in it--the meat, because we've bred our livestock (and even fish, which disgusts me) to eat corn because it's cheaper. The produce, because to make it shiny it's brushed with corn syrup, and because the pesticides are made of corn. And almost everything else (even non-food items like toothpaste and soap) all contain high fructose corn syrup. It's insane how much corn goes into my body daily when I'm not even aware of it.

This book plus a trip to Trader Joe's plus recent photos of myself in what I thought were my most flattering jeans plus me huffing and puffing up the stairs in the hotel while carrying Finley have inspired me to make changes, and fast. The goals?

1. Make smart, aware choices about what I'm feeding my body. Know the ingredients. Buy local. When in doubt, don't eat it. Don't wait until I'm starving and desperate.
2. Eat more produce. Eat less meat.
3. Build up my strength. See what kind of power really lies in my body, because I've never pushed it.

All so I can ultimately show Finley how to properly feed herself nutritionally and wisely. So I can improve my quality of life and longevity. And, yes, so I can wear short shorts and a bikini in August and score some dates.

Really Deep Thoughts

So glad we managed to find a copy of this at D.I.

Really Deep Thoughts

(And really good news...)
I'm going to win the Pulitzer! Really. I'm so excited. I'll let you know when it happens, but it's going to happen. You know how I know?

Because somehow, this book won. And if this book can win the Pulitzer, then you can just hand it to me now.
I'll think of you all fondly when I'm famous... and then I'll forget all your names. Ah.