When I see these in the road in my neighborhood, I want to run the damn things down.
They're so insulting. There are speed limits for a reason. How about I drive the recommended 25 miles an hour through the street, and you make sure your kids know not to run in front of my car?
And they're deceiving, because I think that moms who put these signs out are not actually wanting everyone to be aware that there are children in a suburban neighborhood (what?!). I think they just want to feel better about leaving their kids to play in the street unsupervised while they're in the house.
A little unhealthy anger does a body tense.
30.9.11
26.9.11
Really Deep Thoughts
Apparently it's the 400th anniversary of the Bible.
Congrats to God!
(Hope someone throws Him a party! Remember: He likes anything wrapped in bacon!)
(Well, if you're reading the Old Testament, no bacon.)
Congrats to God!
(Hope someone throws Him a party! Remember: He likes anything wrapped in bacon!)
(Well, if you're reading the Old Testament, no bacon.)
25.9.11
Confession
"My house is protected by both God and a gun, and if you try to burgle me, you will meet both!"
A comment made by my least favorite kind of person.
A comment made by my least favorite kind of person.
To a Fellow Human...
Whoever keeps stealing my towel from behind the bathroom door:
The joke's on you. This just means I get a fresh towel every day.
The joke's on you. This just means I get a fresh towel every day.
24.9.11
Really Deep Thoughts
Construction cone orange is not what I had in mind when I said I wanted autumn colors.
Tori Amos: Night of Hunters
Tori Amos released her new album, Night of Hunters, and, as a devoted fan, I rushed to get it and listen.
Now I review.
Tori was given a scholarship to the Peabody Music Conservatory when she was just a little girl, which put her studying classical piano with the country's best pianists. She took a detour from this and was removed from the school a few years later, and put her focus into rock.
Album after album, she's produced achingly honest music that obviously draws from her classical training. But in Night of Hunters, she takes fourteen actual classical compositions and re-arranges them, adding lyrics and orchestration.
It seems a right fit for Tori.
My only complaint is the same complaint I've had for her last four albums. Angry Tori is gone, which means her frustration is gone. She no longer channels that passion through her music. But how could I ever be upset that someone I care about (even though I don't know her) is finally a happy person?
She went from this:
To this:
And I have loved watching it unfold. Even though I still relate more to young, fiery Tori, I am grateful that she has documented her life. Someday I hope to achieve the kind of calm she has.
Here's a link to NPR, which has the whole album on their website to preview. Give it a listen. It's fantastic.
Now I review.
Tori was given a scholarship to the Peabody Music Conservatory when she was just a little girl, which put her studying classical piano with the country's best pianists. She took a detour from this and was removed from the school a few years later, and put her focus into rock.
Album after album, she's produced achingly honest music that obviously draws from her classical training. But in Night of Hunters, she takes fourteen actual classical compositions and re-arranges them, adding lyrics and orchestration.
It seems a right fit for Tori.
My only complaint is the same complaint I've had for her last four albums. Angry Tori is gone, which means her frustration is gone. She no longer channels that passion through her music. But how could I ever be upset that someone I care about (even though I don't know her) is finally a happy person?
She went from this:
To this:
And I have loved watching it unfold. Even though I still relate more to young, fiery Tori, I am grateful that she has documented her life. Someday I hope to achieve the kind of calm she has.
Here's a link to NPR, which has the whole album on their website to preview. Give it a listen. It's fantastic.
18.9.11
Finley Files: Fall into Fall
Dear Finley,
What am I going to do when you're grown-up? Sixteen, or twenty, or twenty-five, and you won't let me smell your head?
Am I going to have to sneak into your bed while you're sleeping just so I can plant a kiss on you?
Will you still ask to hold hands when you're twelve?
I'd like a crystal ball for Christmas so I can know the answers to these things.
I love my little fish.
Love, Mama
What am I going to do when you're grown-up? Sixteen, or twenty, or twenty-five, and you won't let me smell your head?
Am I going to have to sneak into your bed while you're sleeping just so I can plant a kiss on you?
Will you still ask to hold hands when you're twelve?
I'd like a crystal ball for Christmas so I can know the answers to these things.
I love my little fish.
Love, Mama
17.9.11
Finley and Doors: My New Life
Dr. Grant: "It's just the two raptors, right? You're sure the other one's contained?"
Dr. Sattler: "Yeah, pretty sure. Unless they learned to open doors."
14.9.11
12.9.11
College Translations: FYI
"You look smart."
Translation: "You have no revealing cleavage."
"Exactly how many pages do you want the paper?"
Translation: "How little work can I get away with doing?"
"I'm not very good at writing poetry."
Translation: "Please offer me various compliments on my writing and pry into my previous writing credits."
"Yeah, a publisher asked to see my book."
Translation: "I'm pretentiously trying to act like I know anything about the publishing industry."
"I liked the example on page one in the textbook."
Translation: "I only read page one in the textbook."
"Can I have expresso?"
Translation: "I'm pretending I know about coffee to impress the art major in line behind me, and I will sputter when I get my first sip of 'expresso' in a minute. Wait and watch me spill it on my man-boots."
Translation: "You have no revealing cleavage."
"Exactly how many pages do you want the paper?"
Translation: "How little work can I get away with doing?"
"I'm not very good at writing poetry."
Translation: "Please offer me various compliments on my writing and pry into my previous writing credits."
"Yeah, a publisher asked to see my book."
Translation: "I'm pretentiously trying to act like I know anything about the publishing industry."
"I liked the example on page one in the textbook."
Translation: "I only read page one in the textbook."
"Can I have expresso?"
Translation: "I'm pretending I know about coffee to impress the art major in line behind me, and I will sputter when I get my first sip of 'expresso' in a minute. Wait and watch me spill it on my man-boots."
7.9.11
Confession
Mission of the week:
Finish writing the fifteen or so blog posts I have, unfinished, lined up in my queue.
I have high hopes.
Finish writing the fifteen or so blog posts I have, unfinished, lined up in my queue.
I have high hopes.
Really Deep Thoughts
If God wanted Michelle Bachmann to run for President, then God must want Obama to have a second term.
Just sayin'.
Just sayin'.
5.9.11
Confession
I didn't watch Gilmore Girls when it was on the air. I was too underground for that (said with a sarcastic angsty tone, P.S.).
I love it now. LOVE it now. But as I watch it, I am suddenly clued in on the fashion choices of so many of my friends from high school.
The boots. The tights. The dusters. The hair.
I get you now, girls. I see where you are coming from.
I love it now. LOVE it now. But as I watch it, I am suddenly clued in on the fashion choices of so many of my friends from high school.
The boots. The tights. The dusters. The hair.
I get you now, girls. I see where you are coming from.
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