Truth #1: Yes, I deleted my Facebook account. TRUE.
So everyone who thought I personally deleted just you can take a chill pill. I'm done with the waste of time Facebook is for me. I'm through with the emotional Russian roulette I play every time I sign on and risk seeing faces that I really don't care to see. There's a reason why I see the people I see every day--I've chosen to have them in my life, and not in a shifted cyberspace way. Relationships proved false through Facebook so I am through with it, and the better for it.
Truth #2: I am not gay. TRUE.
Apparently this a rumor spreading like wildfire, and I thought I'd just put the truth out there. No, not gay. Not even a little. This has nothing to do with image protection, or being insulted at the thought--I have nothing against anyone who is gay, or straight, or what have you. I have something against you if you tease me for watching The Tenth Kingdom. I have something against you if you eat my brownie. If I was gay, trust me--you'd know it, and I'd flaunt it. No, I wouldn't flaunt it--I would live it. I am straight. That's all.
The lie: I am one of two parents who support and raise Finley. LIE.
I am a single parent. When I say single, I don't mean "open and datable." I'm talking about single, solitary. If I was a chess piece, I'd be a tall, proud queen, with the king nowhere even on the board. When it comes to her actual birth parents, Finley has ONE who is involved, and that is me. This is probably selfish to be declaring this, but when I use the word "single" I truly mean it. It hurts me and threatens me a little (in ridiculous, immature ways, I'm sure) when someone declares it must be "easy" living at home with help from my family. It hurts me to hear the absolute falsehood traveling around that I receive any support from Finley's dad. I do not.
Three meals a day. Bath time. Laundry. Play time. Nap time. Bed time. Filing nails. Brushing teeth. Tylenol when sick. Diapers. Singing lullabies. Reading books. Teaching words. Snotty noses. Finding lost binkies. Car seat installations. Cleaning up the destruction caused by her. This is what I do every single day. Most days I get sabbaticals, even for ten minutes, which I usually spend dawdling in the bathroom so I can have some peace. Other days Finley's grandparents take her--she has four grandparents, all of which pull MORE than their own weight when it comes to relieving me for sanity's sake. She has aunts and uncles who dote on her and also spell me from the exhaustion that is raising a child.
But do not get me wrong. I am raising my daughter. It's just Mommy and not Daddy, and I am through ignoring a lie which protects someone who does not deserve protection. It's all me.
This is not a pity cry. This is not a plead for more help, because I'm sure I get more help than most married mothers get with their broods of children. I am simply setting records straight. A lie passed around does damage. A lie passed around pisses me off.
5 comments:
grossest picture ive ever seen.... you would'a been a great asset to the gays shame!
soooo, that guy is from the 10th Kingdom, right?
LOVE YOU!
I truly admire you for being the wonderful and strong single mother than it is obvious, even to those who don't know you well, that you are. Your daughter is adorable and intelligent, and seems very happy.
Also, I like the tenth kingdom ... *shifty*
I found your blog through that facebook account you deleted... so it was a bit ago. I have checked in here and there and just barely read this post. I am now relaxing about the fact that I may or may not have thought you deleted just me off your facebook and have decided to out my stalker status. I will be checking in with you here more often. I hope things are going well for you. I'd love to do lunch or something sometime!
Indeed.
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