Sixth grade. That's when I first was requested to think about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was interrupted from being a care-free kid and pushed to decide on a series of future choices. My answers to the junior high guidance counselor (football player, mom, flying shark lady) were deemed unacceptable, and so back to the drawing board I went.
And went.
And went. And erased it and reconsidered and deemed my options unacceptable.
As a young teenager, I decided sports weren't for me because I had curves, not muscles (and therefore looked stupid running).
As a high school student, I decided I couldn't be a marine biologist because I lived in Utah and wouldn't ever be able to hack the math.
I had always known I'd take a year off of school before college, just for reflection and playing. It turned into five.
Writer is what I've always come back to. Writer is what I'll always be. You don't need a degree, you don't need a computer or an office. Sure, you may not have a salary immediately, but the payoff of transporting a story or a thought from my mind to letters and words has always been worth it.
I am so excited for school, in case you can't tell by the last few posts. And I have decided what I want to be when I grow up. And I'm not changing it, no matter what you think. You readers of mine can know now, and you'll understand, because you're sensitive, hilarious, caring readers.
I am going into Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Sexology. I want to be a clinical psychologist with my own practice, but also dabble into biological research in the sexology field.
In other words, I want to study the physiological and psychological inner workings of human sexuality. I want to read about cases, put together my own study trials, and help individuals with issues in this area.
(Truth moment: I'm not a helper, like my dad or my sister. I am not doing this because I want to help people. But I'm pretty happy that the area I am so interested in is also an area that I can do a lot of good in.)
Reilly pointed out that I have a talent for talking about this subject gently, with sensitivity and subtly. It doesn't gross me out, it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. It fascinates me in a healthy, curious way. It isn't perverted or immoral. It's an area of science that absolutely calls my name.
And you can bet I'll write about my findings in some fascinating blog posts/future books.
I begin in a few weeks with a Humanities class and Psychology 101. I cannot wait.
Because I'm sick of telling myself I can't do something because it's hard/I'll look fat/people will think I'm weird/it'll take forever.
Because it's there.
You'll want to come back for the next post. There's a few books I'm currently reading that have facts I HAVE to share with you, my friends.
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3 comments:
Good for you! I LOVED my phsyc classes and would be a therapist, counsler, or something like that if I went back to school. I think it's brave of you to take on the sexual side of things since it's not a very popular topic where we live. I know there are a lot of people that could use help in that area. Good luck with school! Like I said before if you need help with Miss Finley May, give me a call.
I've been reading your blog for just a few months now after stumbling across it by accident. I've never commented before, but I felt it too coincidental that the area you have chosen is pretty much identical to what I've been majoring in for the past year. I wish you the best of luck, this field is rife with splendor on both a cognitive and sociocultural perspective. It's nice to know I'll have a colleague soon.
I got my degree in gender studies, and a lot of what we discussed was human sexuality, so I totally get where you're coming from. It's quite interesting and certainly practical. Just be prepared for all the lewd conversations people will have with you now that they know you're a sex expert in training.
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