This guy, otherwise known as the father of my baby, is making a trek to California to work, think, find himself, and to both get away and arrive simultaneously. And be assured, the mixed feelings I have about this move would make one hell of a drink.
It's been seven years now, seven years of on and off dating. Seven years of sad nights, hopeful evenings, seven years worth of makeup wasted on sporatic dates that in my head would have led somewhere by now.
Seven years of lonely New Year's Eve nights without kisses. Seven years of trying to read minds. Seven years of lovely moments followed by terrible fear. Seven years of putting my family through the ultimate torture: having to watch a loved one suffer at their own hands. How many times did people tell me the truth? But I wouldn't admit that it was all good advice.

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I don't know what's going to happen next. There's doors that are shutting (metaphorically speaking), but I'm not necessarily closing them forever. I have Finley, and I am trying to focus on being a good mom. I just hope that Ricky either finds what he needs to find in California, or realizes it's back here, turns around, and drives home.
And gets his crap together.
There's still time for him. There's still time for us.
I can't forget all the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place. Not that quickly. They could resurface and we could be a family.

But only if I'm right and he can't stand being in California without us.
After all, how could you leave this little darling behind for very long?
Good luck, dear friend.
While you are away
My heart comes undone
Slowly unravels
In a ball of yarn
The devil collects it
With a grin
Our love
In a ball of yarn
He'll never return it
So when you come back
We'll have to make new love...
~Bjork (yep, the one in the swan dress, who happens to be fantastic underneath the weirdness)
1 comment:
It's Oh, So Quiet...
Whatever happens, Fin was worth it, and I want you to know that I take credit for her. :)
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