I Don't Wanna...

I Don't Wanna...
...Pluck my eyebrows, even though they're frightening people
...Do any laundry, even though I haven't had clean underwear in four days
...Eat a vegetable (potato chips probably don't count this time)
...Get up to muzzle the cat, even though she's meowing at 80 decibels
...Censor the words I really want to say
...Ever get a cell phone again and have to endure TEXT MESSAGE CHAIN LETTERS (that's right--could anything be more obnoxious?)
...Sweat, and I mean through exercise, not just a hot shower

I DO Wanna...
...Keep drooling over Portia De Rossi and her perfect hair/legs/ass/smile/ass/ass/ass
...Be jolly, as the season does require
...Curl up and daydream about a wedding and an apartment to decorate
...Figure out what the hell's going through the head of every extremist Republican I know (I have a feeling this will be a lifelong pursuit)
...Be a motivational speaker someday and milk rich self-conscious people for all they've got
...Be a good girl (if I come home with a tattoo after my first night on the job, no one should be surprised)