Why the Hurry?

I had a fantastic birthday. Pictures coming soon. It was filled with chai tea, Augusten Burroughs books, parking meters, sweet potato fries, gift cards, cash, and Pop Chips (a whole case of them, actually).

I will be writing a birthday wrap-up soon, because I was truly spoiled with presents and the company of those who love me--and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. But first I had to jot down the thoughts clouding my mind at 1:00 am.

I tend to think of my future and past selves often--almost like they are real people I can reference. Of course, they aren't, because time isn't a linear object, and the past only exists in my memory. My past self reminds me of an obnoxious little sister, and sometimes I think of her and slap my forehead in disgust and embarrassment. My future self, however, is like the wise older sister I never had--being the oldest, I was always expected to be the guide for my other siblings. I've stumbled along on my own with only a virtual tour guide for myself.

I am in constant hurries to catch up to my future self.

That ends now.

I am twenty-four. I should be grateful if I ever reach my goals, let alone placing ridiculous, unattainable expectations and time limits on them. My future self should always be ahead of me, better than me, prettier, more successful, more graceful, everything I want to be.

Thank you to everyone who has stuck up with my past self long enough to reach my present self. I promise you, my future self is going to be amazing.