Not OKCupid

I felt completely confident in creating an online dating profile for myself. After all, it's the basic law of attraction, right? If you're in the dating mindset, you will find yourself with a date. But as soon as I finished filling out the questionnaire, explaining what open communication meant to me, etc. I got an inbox message from someone who looks like this.

Now, I can be a judgmental bitch. I'm certainly not NOT open to dating someone with a fantastic personality who compliments me. But even his profile suggested we weren't a great match. Under the question, "What 6 things can't you live without?", he wrote, "1, the basics, 2, this website, 3, um, food, 4, 5, and 6 I'm too bored to write so I will later." No favorite books or music listed, just a favorite movie, Return of the Jedi, which is respectable, but underneath which he wrote, "don't really know why, just is."

Um, WTF?

I'm way cuter than this, right? Or should I consider him a possible Casanova?

In the meantime, ick. My stomach can't handle this. It probably seems soon to worry about dating. After all, I am a new mom. But A), the last little while of my last relationship wasn't the best, so it feels like I've been single for a lot longer, and B), with options like this, it'll take me awhile to find Mr. Right, or even Mr. Right Now.

Um, so how do I date? What do I even do? I've dated three people in my entire life, and two of those were relationships (which we all know zaps dating out of the scenario because why impress someone when you can eat Chinese food on the couch with your belly hanging out?). What do I do? Or should I buy a few more cats?

Do I need to go to a club? Or (gasp) a singles ward?