The Trebuchet

Tonight I put in the basket to fling away:

--People who say "kiddos" instead of kids and "hubby" instead of husband.

--Always being late. I have a newborn who only eats, poops, and sleeps. It's no excuse. I may be fashionably late, but I'm also being unfashionably stupid.

--Dirty snow.

--Emoticons. I'm not going to put a winking ;) to diminish something I sincerely meant.

--Stupid ugly grandma nursing bras.

Will someone else with a virtual trebuchet please fling to me:

--Some cute ballet flats in every color.

--More time.

--A trip to Seattle, where there are more bookstores per capita than anywhere in the world.

--A new belly button, because the stretch marks make mine frown all the time now.

--A personal gym that doesn't stink like old farts and strangers' B.O.