I feel completely uninspired. And I know exactly why.
It's because I've had a loss recently. It's because I have a huge life shift coming up that I'm feeling inadequate for. But it's mostly because I am coming out of a denial that I have lived in for years.
I feel completely uninspired.
I feel a loss of faith and hope in love.
I feel like part of my heart is gone and won't call.
I feel totally lost.
I feel like the philosophy I've had of "love is all you need" is a lie.
I feel pessimistic.
I feel unproductive.
And truthfully? I feel rejected and worthless.
I'll get over it soon. I'll pull myself up and wipe off my own tears and carry on--not just for myself, but for my baby. There's two of us now to worry about.
But I just thought I'd record how much it sucks. I really thought I knew something about life, about love, about relationships, about... him.
I didn't know him at all.
It's because I've had a loss recently. It's because I have a huge life shift coming up that I'm feeling inadequate for. But it's mostly because I am coming out of a denial that I have lived in for years.
I feel completely uninspired.
I feel a loss of faith and hope in love.
I feel like part of my heart is gone and won't call.
I feel totally lost.
I feel like the philosophy I've had of "love is all you need" is a lie.
I feel pessimistic.
I feel unproductive.
And truthfully? I feel rejected and worthless.
I'll get over it soon. I'll pull myself up and wipe off my own tears and carry on--not just for myself, but for my baby. There's two of us now to worry about.
But I just thought I'd record how much it sucks. I really thought I knew something about life, about love, about relationships, about... him.
I didn't know him at all.
I am locking some things up. No one's getting in for a long time.
1 comment:
I'm sorry. You're not wrong, you know...just wrong about him. And you weren't wrong about him at the time...but he's changed. People do, contrary to popular belief. Esepecially between 17 and 30. And when you have a scared little boy locked up in the body of a 20-something who has thrown up his hands, you get someone who is a complete fuckin' mystery.
You'd be amazed how much better you feel about (and can handle) your own life when you're living it for a little person...and how much your own situation ceases to matter. Hang in there. We're all hanging with you.
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