Quotes from Maury's Paternity Test Show Worth Repeating

Overweigh southern African-American woman: "Ima get the first laugh!"
Maury: "You mean last laugh?"
Woman: "Naw, Ima be first, I tell ya!"

Father of daughter named Diamond: "When did y'all cheat on me? We was together 25-7! 25-7, I tell ya!"
Maury's face: priceless

Teenage boy Rusty (accused of fathering six-month-old Lurene): "She don't look nothing like me! Look at her--her eyes, her lips, and that--that between her eyes and her lips--that thing don't look nothing like me!"
Maury: "You mean Lurene's nose?"

Twenty-two year-old Kareej: "I'm 22! I can't get a job, I'm too young to get a job and be working!"
Mother of his daughter Ausha: "I don't care, I'll see you in child support court, sucker! Now, don't you worry, y'all. I got his social security number so if he don't want to do it right I'll get right in his pockets!"

Tiffani (pronounced Tiff-AN-i): "Trig is my absolute man of my dreams."
(Trig has a fourteen-inch permed mullet and a black eye.)
Maury: "How long have you been together?"
TiffANi: "Since we was fifteen."
Maury: "And you're seventeen now?"

MAURY: A true reflection of American culture and understanding of the world.