Job Interview

Things I Didn't Expect to See At My Job Interview (a.k.a. audition to sing at a bar four times a week)

A piano/computer combo thing that I'm supposed to get music out of (I figured it out and it's pretty damn cool)

A man, also auditioning, who would render all my insomniac friends and acquaintances unconscious in a big sleepy heap with his teeny, tiny lullaby voice, his rolling Yanni-like piano skills, and his bite-size personality. Hello, this is for a bar! With drunk people!

A girl (who looked strangely like every female auditioning for American Idol in hoop earrings, a 90s perm, and too much tan lip gloss) who played and sang "Breath of Heaven." Yeah. The song about Mary and Jesus. She was then asked if she knew any covers. Her response? "That was a cover." DUH!

Me inserting dirty lyrics into "Summer Lovin," much to the delightment of the bar owners. I guess the only thing more exciting than auditioning a kick-ass, talented, gorgeous young pianist is discovering the kick-ass, talented, gorgeous young pianist comes with an optional potty mouth.