Inner Workings of My Brain

Things That Somehow Stick in My Brain Under Every Kind of Duress
1. How to read music
2. That onions don't scientifically have a taste, only a smell (very helpful when eating Italian and lacking in conversation)
3. All lyrics by Tori Amos, Queen, and for some reason, Fiddler on the Roof
4. Every fight move ever performed by Xena: Warrior Princess
5. How to perfectly execut said fight moves by Xena: Warrior Princess (comes in handy)
6. Alexander Hamilton was born in Barbados, so, no, he couldn't have ever been President.
7. How to fit an entire bag of Doritos, an entire pan of brownies, and five cups of hot chocolate into my belly in two hours
8. Dance moves to Thriller (child of the 90s, I'm proud) and Mariah Carey's music videos (child of the 90s, I'm ashamed)
9. My contacts are itching me
10. Farts are definitely, always funny--during a prayer, dog farts, in the shower, whenever--always funny

Things I Can Never Remember Under Bribe or Threat of Death
1. I said yes, I'll be a visiting teacher... and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a gun barrel pointing into my back
2. That those pictures of surgical procedures in my medical book really are that gross
3. Straight hair is much better than curly hair
4. I owe that one person 20 bucks
5. Curly hair is much better than straight hair
6. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants=7th circle of hell (and the third attempt to be a part of this world only perpetuates this)
7. Glenn Close is that pirate that goes in the Boo Box on Hook8. The clothes that my sister wears and looks fabulous in make me look like a butterball turkey being squeezed into tiny hairnet
9. Even if I ground myself from books, I cannot keep an exercise schedule
10. There is a point that I can reach, a mood in which only Calvin and Hobbes can pull me back from the brink, and it's a lot quicker to get there than I always think