Reasons to love December
1. I love my gloves. My hands are always cold, and everyone looks at me weird when I wear my gloves in June.
2. There's plenty of people saying "balls," thus illiciting plenty of childish laughter from... me.
3. Snuggles.
4. It's time to play guess that weather here in Utah!
5. Treats every day are not only acceptable, but expected.
6. Farts in the cold produce steam. Funny.
7. Lyrics like "don we now our gay apparel." Priceless. (And more applicable this year than ever.)
8. The annual package of underwear/bobby pins from the dog or cat. (Thank you, parents, for still seeing the child in me.)
9. That big fat green Grinch ass.
10. The looks on husbands' and teenagers' faces in Christmas cards. Makes me wonder what exactly their mothers bribed them/threatened them with.
Reasons to hate December
1. No matter how many pairs of socks I get, unless they're pink, my brother steals them. Then puts holes in them. Then puts them back in my laundry.
2. Neil Diamond singing "Little Drummer Boy." 'Nuff said.
3. Smiling at fake Santas blows. You're not fooling me!
4. Whether it snows or not, tension is always in the atmosphere during Christmas.
5. Along with treats come the unfortunately-named, unappetizing "Cheese balls," "Yule logs," and "Figgy puddings." What's a figgy?
6. I have to hear the word "virgin" a lot more than I'd like to, and the context in which it's used pisses me off. But that's for another post. Stay tuned!
7. Sweaters covered in ribbons, sparkles, and all manner of Christmas cheer. And matching earrings. Actually, depending on who's wearing it and whether their husband is matching, this belongs on my list of things I love about December.
8. There's an extra desperation in the faces of anyone who might sell you something.
9. Having to think, "Did they get me something last year?" Then realizing it doesn't really matter, it's all about the spirit of Christmas. (But secretly thinking, "That bastard, he totally blew me off!")
10. Watching my teenaged siblings twitch when they admit to enjoying family time. No guilt involved. (It's okay to like your family, really! If every other hormone-driven, emotionally unstable, rebellious and occasionally acid-mouthed teenager jumped off a cliff, would you?)
1. I love my gloves. My hands are always cold, and everyone looks at me weird when I wear my gloves in June.
2. There's plenty of people saying "balls," thus illiciting plenty of childish laughter from... me.
3. Snuggles.
4. It's time to play guess that weather here in Utah!
5. Treats every day are not only acceptable, but expected.
6. Farts in the cold produce steam. Funny.
7. Lyrics like "don we now our gay apparel." Priceless. (And more applicable this year than ever.)
8. The annual package of underwear/bobby pins from the dog or cat. (Thank you, parents, for still seeing the child in me.)
9. That big fat green Grinch ass.
10. The looks on husbands' and teenagers' faces in Christmas cards. Makes me wonder what exactly their mothers bribed them/threatened them with.
Reasons to hate December
1. No matter how many pairs of socks I get, unless they're pink, my brother steals them. Then puts holes in them. Then puts them back in my laundry.
2. Neil Diamond singing "Little Drummer Boy." 'Nuff said.
3. Smiling at fake Santas blows. You're not fooling me!
4. Whether it snows or not, tension is always in the atmosphere during Christmas.
5. Along with treats come the unfortunately-named, unappetizing "Cheese balls," "Yule logs," and "Figgy puddings." What's a figgy?
6. I have to hear the word "virgin" a lot more than I'd like to, and the context in which it's used pisses me off. But that's for another post. Stay tuned!
7. Sweaters covered in ribbons, sparkles, and all manner of Christmas cheer. And matching earrings. Actually, depending on who's wearing it and whether their husband is matching, this belongs on my list of things I love about December.
8. There's an extra desperation in the faces of anyone who might sell you something.
9. Having to think, "Did they get me something last year?" Then realizing it doesn't really matter, it's all about the spirit of Christmas. (But secretly thinking, "That bastard, he totally blew me off!")
10. Watching my teenaged siblings twitch when they admit to enjoying family time. No guilt involved. (It's okay to like your family, really! If every other hormone-driven, emotionally unstable, rebellious and occasionally acid-mouthed teenager jumped off a cliff, would you?)
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